BEFORE I BECAME A MUM

Hello all, 

since I haven't managed to squeeze out time from being pulled in all directions by my kids, job and teeny weeny crochet business (which I pray earnestly to be mega big someday. *fingers crossed*), enough to edit some of the mini stories I've written, I decided to post this. I've had it for a while, even though its not finished, I want you guys to have something to read because I see that even on days that I don't post anything (which has been quite a while actually) you lovely people still visit and I have to tell you that it gives me encouragement. 

I put this together when I came across a similar post on a BBM Channel ( yeah I love BBMC, I have a crochet Channel too but I can't remember the PIN right now. Guess I will put it up in the next post). So I decided to do mine because I thought I could have a little fun with it ... so here goes...

Before I became a mum

I never knew would be able to push another human being out and stay sane at the same time.

Before I became a mum

I never knew I would be chewed on, peed on, pooped on, spit on, puked on, pinched, slapped, kicked, punched and made to withstand hours of “mumi, let me make your hair”.

I also never had baby food in my hair.

Before I became a mum

I had complete control of my thoughts, my mind, my actions and my bladder.

I ate my meal as soon as I made it and I ate it in peace 

Before I became a mum

I never knew I would jump for joy at a bowel movement done in the proper place

I never believed I would find joy in speaking gibberish just to see a smile

Before I became a mum

I always slept through the night

I cleaned my house and it always stayed clean

Before I became a mum

I never believed I could get dressed in a car and I always went out with my hair well styled

I always remembered to wear earrings and I never forgot to brush my teeth or wear deodorant.

Before I became a mum

I slept as late as I wanted and I always had quiet conversations on the phone

I watched TV all day if and when I wanted

Before I became a mum

I never knew I would be able to fart in public and blame my baby for doing it.

Before I became a mum

I never fell asleep in an office meeting.

I never typed on the computer with one hand while holding down a screaming child with the other (doing this right now)

Before I became a mum

I never lost control of my bladder whenever I sneezed, coughed or laughed too hard.

Before I became a mum

My breasts were nowhere near my tummy, I didn’t have love handles and I definitely did not jump up to fit into my jeans.

Before I became a mum

I never knew I would be typing this and hoping for more of the tedious fun involved in being a mum. 

Teenage years? Bring them on! 

I hope I made you smile, even if it was a little.

email: bbannesworld@gmail.com
twitter: @bbannesworld













 Stories posted on this blog are fiction and a product of the writer's imagination. They do not refer to any person or persons. Similarities to real life characters are purely coincidental.